The goblin is ubiquitous in fantasy narrative; they are literally everywhere in the fantasy world. Why not throw your own version of the goblin into your story!
First Impressions and Description
Goblins are widely variable, but they’re typically on the smallish side and are generally nasty and somewhat cowardly. They are definitely not above scavenging and gnawing on carrion. They are a favorite for evil dudes to use as minions and slaves because they’re pretty stupid and obedient under the whip.
- green, mossy, ochre, pale yellow, puke green, olive, pallid, peaked, sickly,
- dirty, grimy, grubby, gross, slimy, slick, greasy, oily, sweaty, hot and moist, filthy, bacteria-laden, infected, infectious, mangy,
- thin, gaunt, drawn, emaciated, drained, sinewy, lithe,
- nasty, mean, dastardly, conniving, tricky, devious,
- cowardly, prefer to fight in groups, backstabbers, untrustworthy,
- short, squat, small, three to four foot (except some leaders who may be bigger),
- sharp claws including toenails,
- bald except for a few wispy hairs,
- moles, scabs, scars,
- tattoos, branding, face and body paint,
Environments
- forests, hills, mountains, cliffs, ravines, gullies, gutters,
- slough sides, marshes, bogs,
- edges of town, city sewers,
- basement tunnels, cellars,
- alleys, snickets,
- near pubs, taverns, inns where they can grab food scraps,
- garbage dumps, refuse piles, trash barges,
- ships holds,
- hiding in and around, castles, town clock towers, large libraries, hospital basements, wonders of the world,
Stuff
- short sword, dagger, short spear, pointed stick, iron pipe, mace, club, short bow, small crossbow, scimitar, lumber with a few nails sticking out, sling, stone hatchet, sharpened rock, gunpowder (though they’re most likely to blow themselves up with it),
- clothes of scraps, hides, skins, fur, bits of armour, helmets, bracers, greaves, loin cloth, small shields,
- idols, totems, knick-knacks with some goblin significance to rank or clan, trinkets on string, something strange,
- pouches, pockets, strings, strapping,
- coins, stones, beans, beads, bits, bones, bark,
- food scraps (mostly meat),
- goblins love intoxication so they may have mushrooms, drugs, herbs to smoke, alcohol, plants, bark, bad wine, sticks to chew on, concoctions to drink,
- rocks, stone tools, broken glass, mirrors, shiny sharp objects,
- may have pet rats or snakes, or dogs to ride,
- simple instruments, skin drums, knocking sticks, three-string instruments of random tuning,
- brazier, candles, torches, found lanterns, fire pits (or just fire),
Goblin Activities
- hiding, sneaking,
- stealing, thieving, burgling, lifting, taking,
- kidnapping,
- eating, drinking, smoking, consuming, chewing on stuff,
- farting, burping, crapping, urinating,
- cursing, cussing, swearing,
- fighting, wrastling, scrapping, punching, kicking, hacking, chopping, thumping, beating, striking, biting, tearing,
- hoarding trinkets, stacking rocks, banging sticks together,
- shoving things up their noses and other holes,
- digging holes, tunnels, burrows, dens,
- trapping small animals to eat,
- burning things (tires), roasting things (tires),
- building inventions (that never really work, but they try),
Goblin-ish Names
- Kroob, Burt, Fig, Stump, Bloo, Gruf, Muck, Dick, Floob, Boob, Erk, Mug, Splug, Flop,
- King Gnort, The Big Turd, Royal Fnup, The High Poop,
Notes and Ideas
- Larger creatures like ogres, bugbears, or orcs will often use goblins as fodder for war or as slaves around their camps.
- Goblins may have some hierarchy in their clans or tribes, though they are too quarrelsome and stupid to really understand too much in terms of military or feudal “rules”.
- Goblins can certainly play the role of comic relief in your narratives; though they are capable of doing some damage, they are generally too stupid to pose a real threat other than to little children. Have fun with goblins!
- In every 1000 goblins, there’s probably one who is actually smart or charismatic or both, so invent that rogue goblin wizard, alchemist, or tinkerer! Maybe they try to escape the wicked world of the goblin or they lord it over their brethren. Whatever.